How to communicate better with my husband and know that is he really listening to me(not just hearing me)?

Lately it seems my husband isn't really listening to what I have to say when it comes to talking about his mom interferring too much into our lives (he gets very defensive if I say anything negative about his mom) or me helping out around the house/yard or raising our kids. (about his mom - he seems to be a 'momma's boy' and I know he is very close to her and they have a close relationship - and I'm not saying these things to make him mad or to complain about his mom but he needs to listen to what I have to say.) He decided to marry me and have a family with me but I don't think he ever really detached himself from his mom. I moved out of my dad and step moms house and did that for him but he hasn't really done that for me. It seems he hasn't started a family with me yet, even though we have our own house and have 2 beautiful daughters. It seems he has it set in his mind one thing and that's the way it is. He doesn't really like to hear other input or how it could be different, even if it would make it better. I'm not sure how to get back on the same page with him and I feel that if something isn't done about it now that we are just going to keep drifting farther and farther apart and that's not what I want to happen. I'm not sure what I can do to get him to really listen to me and understand where I am coming from. Thanks.